As you can probably tell from the title of this post, I’m dealing with a serious issue right now. That issue is National Novel Writing Month. The goal, as I’m sure you know, is to write a 50,000 word rough draft in the month of November. Easy, right?
Not so much.
My novel is a dark psychological horror/ghost story with (I hope) a literary touch. The concept is cool, and I was really excited to pour it onto the page.
But now I’ve written 31,391 words since November 1st, and I have a problem:
I hate my novel.
Hate it. It’s become a bunch of scenes of characters talking to each other, all with the same tics and affectations and cliche hero/villain tropes that bug the hell out of me when I read them in popular fiction. It bores my pants off. Getting 300 words down has become a chore – never mind the 1667 words per day required to stay on schedule.
So what can I do?
I’m writing this blog post to give myself a break and a kick in the pants. I committed myself to finishing this monstrosity, dammit, come Hell or high lava. So that’s what I’m going to do.
But that means I’m going to have to shake things up a bit. Reminding myself in no uncertain terms that this is just a first draft – that it’s supposed to suck – I’m going to take my story off the rails, into realms of demons and monsters and non-sequiturs that would make the hackiest dimestore novelist scoff.
No one will read it. Hell, it may be so much of a lost cause that I won’t even be able to edit and revise it into a publishable work. But at least I’ll have done it.
Then I can turn to my next writing project, lessons learned and absorbed.
For my fellow authors – what do you do to overcome this numbing, depressing feeling of failure?
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