My fellow Americans…
That’s right – Thanksgiving. Not Christmas. We still have more than a month ’til Christmas. Turn your damn glowing Santa Claus off, at least ’til we’ve carved the turkey.
Sorry. I know I’m opinionated, and easy to rile up. But hell – I love Christmas. I do. Halloween has replaced it as my favorite holiday in my adulthood (since the aesthetic is more to my taste and gifts are no longer that big a deal), but still – whether it’s fattening food, family time, or just plain nostalgia, I get the warm Bing Crosby glow whenever the Yuletide rolls around.
I don’t want to be sick of it by the time it actually happens.
So please. Keep the jingle bells silent, for just a little while longer. Enjoy the holidays as they come – stuffing, football, parades, and all. Bask by the fire, singing ‘Over the River and Through the Woods’. Indulge in your food coma.
Then, on Friday, go crazy. Deck the halls. Trim the trees. Crack open the egg nog and wassail to your heart’s content.
Just don’t trample me at the mall.
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